When you are facing a custody dispute in California, every aspect of your behavior—past and present—becomes potential evidence. Under California Family Code, courts make child custody and visitation decisions based on the child’s best interests. This means judges examine your actions, your communications, your living situation, and your relationship with the other parent to determine what arrangement best serves both the child and their future stability.
In Los Angeles County family courts, I have seen texts, emails, social media posts, police reports, medical records, and school records introduced as evidence. Even a single incident—a DUI arrest, an angry voicemail left at 2 a.m., or a heated argument in front of your child—can be magnified and used against you if you do not handle it properly. The reality is that custody proceedings often turn on details you might not expect to matter.
As a Certified Family Law Specialist and CPA with over 27 years of courtroom experience in LA County, I have witnessed how quickly a case can shift when damaging evidence surfaces. This article will walk you through the specific types of evidence that can harm your custody case, and more importantly, what you can do to protect yourself. My advice: be proactive from the first sign of conflict. Document your positive parenting, avoid knee-jerk reactions to provocation, and consult with experienced counsel before your custody battle escalates.
1. Substance Abuse and Alcohol Use
Current or recent substance abuse is one of the most damaging issues in child custody cases. If the other parent can show that alcohol abuse or drug use affects your parent’s ability to provide safe care, courts will act quickly to protect the child’s welfare.
California courts take substance abuse seriously because it directly impacts child safety. Under California Vehicle Code §23152, a DUI conviction creates a documented record that opposing counsel will use to argue the child is not safe in your care. Here is what courts typically examine:
Types of evidence commonly introduced:
- DUI arrests and convictions (especially multiple incidents between 2019–2024)
- Police reports from traffic stops or domestic calls involving intoxication
- Hospital or emergency room records for overdoses or alcohol-related injuries
- DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) investigation reports
- Failed court-ordered drug or alcohol tests
- Pharmacy records showing unfilled prescriptions for addiction treatment
- Witness statements from family members, neighbors, or teachers
Historic vs. ongoing issues matter:
Courts distinguish between a parent who completed rehab in 2018 and has maintained years of documented sobriety versus someone with ongoing abuse patterns. A judge weighing custody determinations will look at:
- How recently the substance abuse occurred
- Whether you voluntarily sought treatment
- Your compliance with treatment recommendations
- The length and consistency of your sobriety
Protective steps you should take:
- Enroll voluntarily in outpatient or inpatient treatment before a court orders it
- Attend AA or NA meetings and keep attendance logs
- Complete regular drug and alcohol testing with documented negative results
- Obtain letters from treating professionals confirming your progress and stability
- Maintain stable employment and housing throughout recovery
In serious cases involving active alcohol abuse or drug use, the court may order monitored visitation or limit overnight parenting time until you demonstrate sustained sobriety. This is not permanent—but you must show consistent, documented recovery over months, not weeks.
2. Domestic Violence, Harassment, and Intimidation
California Family Code §3044 creates a rebuttable presumption against awarding custody to a parent who has committed domestic violence within the past five years. This is not a minor factor—it is a starting point that assumes the abusive parent should not have custody unless they can prove otherwise with significant evidence.
What qualifies as domestic violence in custody proceedings:
- Physical assaults (hitting, pushing, choking, restraining)
- Property destruction in front of the child (punching walls, breaking objects)
- Stalking or following the other parent
- Threats of violence or harm (verbal, written, or electronic)
- Coercive control (isolating the other parent, controlling finances, monitoring movements)
You do not need a criminal conviction for domestic violence to affect your custody case. A single documented incident—such as an arrest in 2022—can trigger the §3044 presumption.
Evidence commonly used:
- Police reports from 911 calls
- Photographs of injuries or property damage
- Domestic Violence Restraining Orders (DVROs)
- Threatening texts, voicemails, or emails
- Witness statements from neighbors, extended family members, or children
- Medical records documenting injuries
- Testimony from therapists or counselors
If you have been falsely accused:
False accusations do happen in high-conflict custody disputes. If you are facing allegations you believe are untrue:
- Contact an attorney immediately—before you respond to the other parent
- Collect all evidence that contradicts the allegations (texts, witness statements, alibis)
- Avoid all contact that could be misinterpreted—even friendly messages
- Do not violate any temporary restraining orders, even to “explain yourself”
If you have a real past incident:
A documented history of physical abuse or emotional abuse does not automatically mean you will lose custody forever. Courts look at rehabilitation:
- Complete a certified 52-week batterer intervention program
- Engage in individual therapy focused on anger management and accountability
- Maintain strict compliance with all court orders
- Document your changed behavior over time
Violating a restraining order—even by sending a “friendly” text or liking a social media post—will be used against you as evidence of poor judgment and disregard for court authority. The court’s perception of your ability to follow rules matters enormously.
3. Negative Behavior Toward the Other Parent & Parental Alienation
Los Angeles judges pay close attention to how each parent supports—or undermines—the child’s relationship with the other parent. A parent who consistently badmouths, sabotages, or blocks the child’s bond with the other parent raises serious concern about their judgment and priorities.
Parental alienation occurs when one parent repeatedly attempts to damage the child’s relationship with the other parent. This might include telling the child negative things about the other parent, interfering with phone calls or visits, or manipulating the child to reject the other parent. Such behavior can harm the child’s emotional health and undermine their ability to maintain a healthy relationship with both parents.
Behaviors that can be used against you:
- Bad-mouthing the other parent to the child (“Your dad is a liar”)
- Sharing details of court filings or adult conflicts with the child
- Refusing to exchange the child on time or creating barriers to visitation arrangements
- Blocking phone calls, FaceTime, or other communication between the child and the other parent
- “Forgetting” to share school or medical information
- Encouraging the child to spy on or report back about the other parent’s household
- Making the child feel guilty for enjoying time with the other parent
Evidence that exposes alienating conduct:
- Screenshots of text messages showing hostile or manipulative communication
- Parenting-app communications (OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents)
- Emails to teachers or coaches that exclude the other parent
- Social media posts insulting the other parent
- Testimony from therapists, school counselors, or family members
- The child’s own statements (though courts are cautious about involving children directly)
Specific examples from practice:
- Withholding the child from the other parent over a minor disagreement about bedtime
- Telling a 10-year-old “Your father doesn’t pay child support” (regardless of whether it is true)
- Posting insults about the other parent on Instagram during an active custody case
- Scheduling extracurricular activities during the other parent’s parenting time without consultation
How to protect yourself:
Keep all communication with the other parent business-like and child-focused. Use written communication (text or email) whenever appropriate so there is a clear record. Avoid reacting to provocation—hostile replies will end up on a courtroom screen. A respectful and cooperative approach, even when the other parent is not reciprocating, demonstrates responsible parenting to the judge.
4. Lack of Involvement, Neglect, and Unsafe Living Conditions
Courts examine your active involvement in the child’s daily life, the quality of care you provide, and the safety of your home. A parent who cannot demonstrate genuine participation in their child’s upbringing faces an uphill battle in custody proceedings.
Involvement in the Child’s Life
Judges look at concrete evidence of your presence in the child’s life:
- Attendance at parent teacher conferences and school events
- Participation in IEP or 504 meetings (if applicable)
- Attending extracurricular activities, sports, recitals, and performances
- Taking the child to medical appointments, therapy sessions, and dental visits
- Involvement in the child’s hobbies and daily routines
- Attending parent teacher conferences consistently demonstrates commitment
What lack of involvement looks like:
- Not knowing the child’s teacher’s name or grade level
- Missing IEP meetings or never attending school events
- Rarely attending games, recitals, or performances
- Never taking the child to medical appointments during your parenting time
- Being unable to describe the child’s friends, interests, or daily schedule
Neglect
Neglect can take several forms, and courts examine patterns rather than isolated incidents:
Type of Neglect | Examples |
|---|---|
Physical | Inadequate food, dirty or inappropriate clothing, lack of supervision |
Medical | Ignoring prescribed medications, skipping therapy appointments, refusing necessary medical care |
Educational | Chronic unexcused absences from school, not supporting homework completion |
Emotional | Ignoring the child’s emotional needs, failing to provide comfort or support |
Unsafe or Unstable Home Environment
Factors related to the child’s environment that may be used against you:
- Overcrowded, unsanitary, or cluttered living spaces
- Exposed drugs, alcohol, or drug paraphernalia
- Unsecured firearms accessible to children
- Frequent unrelated roommates or overnight guests
- Constant moves between addresses (three or more moves in 18 months signals instability)
- Lack of appropriate sleeping arrangements for the child
- Presence of individuals with concerning criminal history
How to document positive conditions:
- Photographs of a clean, child-appropriate bedroom and common areas
- School attendance records showing the child attends regularly during your parenting time
- Immunization and medical records
- Calendars showing your parenting schedule and the child’s activities
- Receipts for children’s clothing, school supplies, and necessities
A modest apartment can satisfy the court’s requirements if it is safe, clean, and provides a stable environment for the child. The issue is not wealth—it is whether the child’s physical and emotional well being are protected.
5. Criminal History, Legal Problems, and Financial Instability
Courts look at overall stability and law-abiding behavior when making custody decisions. A criminal record does not automatically disqualify you, but the nature, recency, and pattern of offenses matter significantly.
Criminal History
Most damaging types of offenses:
- Recent violent crimes
- Child endangerment or child abuse charges
- Drug trafficking or manufacturing
- Sex offenses (a registered sex offender parent faces severe restrictions)
- Firearm-related crimes
- Multiple DUIs (especially within the past five years)
- Domestic violence convictions (triggering Family Code §3044)
A domestic violence conviction from 2021 will carry far more weight than a non-violent misdemeanor from 2008. Courts apply a five-year lookback for domestic violence, but recent convictions of any serious nature raise concerns about the child’s well being in your care.
Active Legal Problems
Ongoing legal issues suggest instability and risk:
- Outstanding warrants
- Probation or parole violations
- Immigration holds affecting your availability
- Unpaid tickets leading to license suspension
- Pending criminal charges
These factors can be used to argue you are at risk of incarceration or unable to provide consistent parenting.
Financial Considerations
As both an attorney and CPA, I approach financial issues from a dual perspective. Courts are not punishing poverty—they are evaluating whether your financial management allows you to meet the child’s needs. Relevant factors include:
- Ability to provide housing, food, utilities, and health insurance
- Stability of employment
- Consistency in paying child support
- Evidence of responsible budgeting, even on a limited income
In complex cases involving business valuations or retirement division under Family Code §2550, forensic accounting can expose hidden assets or inconsistent support payments. A high-earning parent claiming inability to pay child support while making large purchases will face credibility problems.
How to mitigate financial concerns:
- Maintain stable employment history (or document legitimate reasons for gaps)
- Provide proof of consistent rent or mortgage payments
- Show evidence of budgeting or debt repayment efforts
- Explain demanding work schedules (hospital shifts, entertainment industry hours) and present a realistic parenting plan
- Demonstrate that child support payments are current
6. Digital Footprints, Communication, and New Relationships
In 2023, social media was cited as evidence in approximately 35% of U.S. custody disputes—a dramatic increase from 10% a decade earlier. Your digital footprint is now a primary source of evidence in custody battle litigation.
Social Media Evidence
Posts from platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and X can become courtroom exhibits. Problematic content includes:
- Photos of heavy drinking during your parenting weekends
- Derogatory posts about the other parent
- Posts suggesting you left the child unsupervised
- Evidence of expensive purchases contradicting claims of financial hardship
- Photos with individuals who have concerning backgrounds
- Geolocation data showing you were somewhere other than where you claimed
Critical warning: “Deleted” or private posts are often recoverable through discovery, screenshots taken by others, or subpoenas. Never post anything you would not want a judge to read aloud in court.
Text Messages and Emails
Hostile texts, late-night threats, or name-calling in emails are commonly enlarged and displayed on courtroom screens in LA County. These communications can demonstrate:
- Poor co-parenting ability
- Emotional abuse patterns
- Harassment or intimidation
- Disregard for the child’s emotional safety
Even if the other parent provokes you, your response becomes evidence. A single profanity-laced text can undermine months of positive behavior.
New Romantic Partners
A new partner can become a factor in custody outcomes if:
- They have a recent criminal record (especially for violence, drugs, or sex offenses)
- They have active substance abuse issues
- They exhibit volatile behavior around the child
- You move them into your home during an active custody dispute
Moving a new partner into your home mid-litigation (for example, in mid-2024 while your case is pending) may raise questions about your judgment and the stability of the child’s environment. Courts want to know that adults in the child’s life positively influence their development and do not create safety concerns.
Practical advice:
- Keep all communications concise and focused on the child
- Avoid arguments over text—take time to respond calmly
- Consider using a court-approved parenting app that timestamps everything
- Introduce new partners slowly and thoughtfully, after the relationship is stable
- Never involve a new partner in conflict with the other parent
7. Mental Health, Physical Health, and Parenting Decisions
Mental health or physical disability diagnoses by themselves are not grounds to lose custody. The legal standard focuses on whether an unmanaged condition impairs your ability to safely parent your child.
Mental Health Considerations
What can be used against you:
- Untreated depression leading to periods where you cannot care for the child
- Unmanaged bipolar disorder with recent hospitalizations
- Refusing recommended therapy for anger management issues
- Documented statements to therapists expressing inability to cope
- Patterns of emergency room visits or psychiatric admissions
- Conditions like post traumatic stress disorder when left untreated
Courts look for patterns, not isolated incidents. A single therapy session where you expressed frustration is different from repeated hospitalizations and refusal of medication.
What supports your case:
- Regular therapy attendance with documented progress
- Medication management with consistent pharmacy records
- Stable functioning at work and home
- Letters from treating professionals confirming your ability to parent safely
- Evidence that you sought help proactively
Responsible treatment demonstrates insight, reliability, and commitment to the child’s welfare. Many parents with mental health conditions maintain or obtain custody by showing they manage their conditions effectively.
Physical Health
A physical disability does not disqualify you from custody. Courts evaluate whether you can meet the child’s needs with or without accommodations. What matters is:
- Your ability to supervise and care for the child safely
- Access to support systems when needed
- Compliance with your own medical care
Problematic Parenting Decisions
Certain parenting choices can be used to argue poor parenting or risk to the child:
- Physical punishment that leaves marks on the child
- Allowing young children to ride without proper car seats
- Ignoring doctor’s orders for conditions like asthma or diabetes
- Permitting age-inappropriate media or unsupervised late-night internet access
- Leaving children unsupervised at an early age when they are not developmentally ready
- Failing to provide appropriate medical care for injuries or illness
Recommendations:
- Follow all medical and therapeutic recommendations for your child
- Document your compliance with treatment plans
- Be prepared to explain your parenting decisions calmly and factually in court
- If you disagree with a medical recommendation, document your reasoning and seek a second opinion rather than simply ignoring it
- Connect with support groups and community resources when facing challenges
8. How to Protect Yourself in a California Custody Battle
The evidence that could be used against you in a custody battle often comes from your own actions and communications. The good news is that proactive steps can significantly reduce your vulnerability and strengthen your position.
Assume Everything Is Evidence
From the first sign of conflict, assume every interaction, message, and post could be read by a judge. This mindset should guide your behavior from 2024–2025 onward:
- Before sending a text, ask: “Would I want a judge to read this?”
- Before posting on social media, ask: “Could this be misinterpreted?”
- Before reacting to provocation, ask: “How will my response look in court?”
Keep a Detailed Parenting Journal
Document your involvement in the child’s life with specifics:
- Dates, times, and locations of custody exchanges
- Overnight parenting time
- Attendance at school events and attending parent teacher conferences
- Medical and dental appointments you attended
- Significant incidents (illness, behavioral issues, positive milestones)
- Any concerning behavior you observe
Include Los Angeles County-specific details when relevant (school names, pediatrician locations, extracurricular venues).
Gather and Organize Evidence Early
Build your documentation before you need it:
- Report cards and school attendance records
- Medical records and immunization records
- Therapy notes (where appropriate and legally obtainable)
- Calendars showing your parenting schedule
- Photographs demonstrating positive parenting and a safe home
- Proof of child support payments (bank records, canceled checks)
- Communications showing your cooperative approach
Address Known Issues Proactively
If you have vulnerabilities, address them before your hearing date:
- Start counseling or therapy
- Complete substance abuse treatment
- Attend parenting classes
- Improve your housing situation
- Stabilize your employment
Courts respond favorably to parents who recognize problems and take action without being ordered to do so. This demonstrates that the child’s best interests are your priority.
Understand the Stakes
Losing custody—whether sole custody or significant parenting time—affects both the child and your relationship for years. Custody arrangements established now can become the baseline for future modifications. The decisions you make during legal proceedings have lasting consequences.
If you are facing a custody dispute in Los Angeles County, the choices you make now matter. Whether your case involves domestic violence allegations, substance abuse concerns, complex finances, or high-conflict co-parenting, you need guidance from someone who understands both the legal and financial dimensions of family law.
At Charles M. Green, APLC, we handle complex, high-conflict custody cases with the attention they require. With over 27 years of LA County courtroom experience and the combined perspective of a Certified Family Law Specialist and CPA, we provide strategic guidance tailored to your situation. Spanish-speaking staff are available to assist you.
Schedule a confidential consultation to discuss your custody case and learn how to protect your rights and your relationship with your child.
