Although, there is much discourse in psychology crowds regarding exactly what intensity long-term divorces have on children, there is certainly no question that it creates huge changes in their lives, especially during the stage of actual separation. California family law courts make the best interests of the child THE priority in all cases.
We understand that divorce can be an emotionally taxing time that may distract and cause you to fall short on your normally attentive and great parenting skills. Just remember that your children, whether adolescent or teenagers, are still developing their identity, confidence, and emotional skills. Protecting and ensuring their healthy processing of the divorce should be at the top of your priorities.
There’s no debate about the reality that parents are the most important people in a child’s life, or that a contentious divorce is extremely harder on children who are exposed to the parent conflict compared to those who are not.
It is imperative that you do not bring your kids into spousal conflicts.
Do not squabble with your divorcing spouse in front of the kids.
Do not say bad things about your spouse, to, or in front of them.
Do not put pressure on your kids to be dishonest or take sides in the divorce.
Not only is it selfish and wrong, judges will see right through this and will work against you in all aspects of the divorce judgment. Emotionally, financially, and otherwise. You may have strong opinions about your spouse and he/she may be trying to incite you to anger but is very important to keep your cool.
No matter how upset you might get, keep the children out of it and do the best you can to make sure your divorcing spouse does the same. During a divorce self-care is not just for you, equally important, it’s for your children as well.
Remember. Children come first in divorce.