Divorce can be a positive experience handled amicably, respectfully and with the same dignity in which the marriage was entered into.
The current divorce experience is usually one of bitterness and distraught— and where only attorneys seem to come out the winners, in the form of higher fees for drawn-out cases. The general sentiment of the divorce experience seems to be: “It was horrible; the lawyer did it to me; I hate my spouse; I will never get married again. Etc.” That is the sum of the divorce process the way it’s commonly experienced now.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be a damaging experience. Divorce can be a positive experience handled amicably, respectfully and with the same dignity in which the marriage was entered into. Keeping a positive outlook and holding only the best of intentions for all involved is the best way to end the old, and begin the new.
Bitterness during Divorce
Too often, divorce procedures begin with a marshal showing up at the office to serve papers and notify a father or mother that he or she can only see the kids but twice a month and are not allowed to go near the house. Now, how do you think things are going to go from there?
Confusion, anger, and insecurity are usually the most common reactions to the first steps of the divorce process. The perception of being disrespectfully treated by someone who allegedly loved you can be traumatizing. People in their wounded emotional state will often act out negatively. As humans inclined to reciprocate whatever is given to us, whether positive or negative, we often get caught up in negative modes of communication.
Fighting in Divorce can be Expensive
When two divorce lawyers argue, the community property suffers at the approximate rate of $400 per hour. When lawyers litigate, good ones charge about $2,000 a day in court, so that’s $4,000 a day in court. If custody is involved, add the cost of two psychiatrists — that’s $8,000 a day in court. It doesn’t end there.
So you’re burning up about $4,000 a day or more, whereas if a compromise could have been reached, none of that would have had to have been spent. Most divorcing couples don’t realize that when grappling with their emotions and rage.
A Mutually Positive Divorce
Mutual Prosperity in Divorce is the “you and me” approach as opposed to the “you or me” approach. The Law Offices of Charles M. Green will always be friendly, smooth out differences of opinion, minimize emotional stress and grief, and if possible, work out a fair settlement that allows both parties to walk forward with dignity and prosperity. So be mindful when shopping around town for an aggressive Divorce Lawyer, that approach will destroy all involved financially, professionally and emotionally.
Divorce is the prime opportunity to reflect on and recreate your life, and embrace a new, prosperous mentality toward yourself and your life path. Ensure this by holding and outputting only the most positive and prosperous thoughts for all people in your life despite your differences. It has been said in many cultural traditions that you attract what you put out.
Endings are really new beginnings . I am confident you would like to begin the new chapter of life aligned with prosperous values and mindset.
Say No to the Blame Game
Not only do you not want to refrain from blaming your spouse, but more importantly, you do not want to beat yourself up. Acknowledge what you could or could not have done while you were together and then let it go. If you are having difficulty with letting these emotions go, ask yourself, “Did I do the best I could given the situation and wisdom that I had?” More than likely, the answer will be. ‘Yes!’
Know that with a positive mindset for yourself and others, a prosperous outcome and future can be achieved for all parties involved.
Give Your Children the Gift of Modeling a Healthy Relationship
Too often divorcing couples caught up in a legal battle lose sight of how their behavior and actions affect their children. Decades of experience has shown me that all the parental fighting, leaves an emotionally and sometimes mentally damaged child. What is often left of the child is a young human being whose impression of marriage and love is that of contentious litigation and lawyers. This should not be the lot divorcing parents leave to their children.
On occasion I urge my clients to seek a counselor before making up their minds to divorce. The idea is to promote a solution to an individual’s problem. And if divorce is the solution, then why not have it be a positive thing, even a growing life experience?
Custody battles and long arguments can quickly knock $20,000 or $30,000 or much more out of the community property which is money that could be well spent for children’s college tuition or job-training or retirement.
Stay Open to a Positive Divorce
It is the fiduciary and moral responsibility of your divorce attorney to help the parties maintain the community wealth and not waste it frivolously in the dissolution process. If divorcing couples understand that there can be a mutually prosperous alternative, they will recover from the divorce quickly and with less emotional trauma.
It would be more ideal to have all parties remain open to the chance to do something positive in this difficult transition rather than falling into an unproductive pattern of bitterness or revenge which. Setting everyone into a deeper state of negativity will further prevent the parties, and their children, from surviving the divorce process with intact finances, emotions, and prosperous spirit.